Jokes emailed to me

Husband asks, “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

 “Without Information Fighting Everytime”
Wife replies,

“No, It means, “With Idiot For Ever !!!”
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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
B’coz people started licking the wrong side.
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Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend to death.

 Wife says “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, “send me a brother”
Santa wrote back, “SEND ME YOUR MOTHER”

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Three Feelings: What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one,

my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Woman asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

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Son asks difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad says, you are my son, im confident. Your friend also my son, that’s confidential!

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Mother talks to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother faints…

About Andrew Lin

Hi, I have always wanted to creat a blog site but never had the time. I have been working in Information Technology for over 15 years. I specialize mainly in networks and server technologies and dabble a little with the programming aspects. Andrew Lin

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